Summer–How I loath thee

I try to keep this site a positive place. I like to focus on strength for the times that are hard and hope for a better tomorrow. I like to post about what I am discovering is good in the world. This is not one of those posts. This is a sad post. This post is about Summer.
Summer Sun
While I’m sure you’re all happy about the warm days we’ve been receiving, I am worried. Very worried. I don’t like Summer, in case you were still wondering, for with it come a stream of impossible situations that cannot be borne by common man. Or at least it makes me reasonably upset, and that’s why I’ve gone to the effort of creating the following TOP THREE THINGS I HATE ABOUT SUMMER.
Thing 3! My Wardrobe
Many of you probably notice that when summer comes around, you’re left with fewer clothes to wear. For some however, you have an entirely new look dedicated to summer, or maybe you were wearing those clothes all winter round, under your jacket. For me, this is the opposite.Summer Naked
Instead of having fewer clothes, my decidedly European stylings require that I can wear none of my clothes in the summer, unless I become immune to heatstroke. Vanity has often led me to try variations on my clothes, maintaining something of my image without overheating:
Summer Vest
This has not been successful. Here’s a pro-tip for you: vest on bare skin is weird for everyone.
Summer SweatThing 2! Sweat
Closely linked to my clothing problem is the fact that when the sun comes out, all the moisture in my body is drawn to it. They’re like little sun-worshipers, who get all anxious when they hear their god is coming round. I am not pleased. I am not a believer in this faith of damp smells.
I think my confidence must also be linked to my moisture, as it seems to evaporate just in the way my pooling perspirant doesn’t at these times. Leaving me a wilting mess, my garments drenched and my friends absent. This is not my idea of a fun day.

Thing 1! The Car
The absolute worst thing I hate about Summer is getting in the car.
Summer Car
I can’t express in words what it’s like, getting in a sweltering heat-box, desperately trying to turn on the air-con, holding my breath so the air doesn’t burn my lungs. Then the air comes on, but it takes ages to cool down, and it’s just blowing super heated air around in my face, and my hands get burnt on the wheel. That’s why I drew a picture. Enough said.
I hope you didn’t mind my whinging too much, it’s good to get it out. I’ll resume hopeful broadcasting soon. Until then please let me know what you hate/love about the summer in the comment section.


Saskia Scott said...

there are two thing threes! Beren is the same way, he always complains about getting in the car in summer. I am the opposite to you... I have no really good winter clothes, so when it gets really cold I start freezing to death.

Anonymous said...

I am with you on this, Theo. I turn into a little vampire when summer comes around - I try and avoid sunlight as much as possible for it burns! Agree re the car, sweat and wardrobe difficulties. However, there are some people who look rather nice wearing a vest on bare skin....though it's not for everyone, that's for sure.

Annora said...

aha h aha hahahaha ahahahahah NAKED THEO!!!!!